the day everything changed

This is SO not chronological or orderly- but it is in order of importance. I plan to call my peanut allergic kid #1 for reference.  There is also a #2 and #3 in my blog but this has nothing to do with them right now.  Anywhooooo.....Recently, #1 was asked what was the mot important thing that ever happened to him.  His answer both shocked and saddened me. He said his anaphylaxis.  I guess I need to backtrack a little to bring us up to the anaphylaxis.  Every year, #1 goes to the allergist to have his allergies tested.  Most people get a skin test where they poke a hole in your skin, add the allergen to the skin and see if you get a hive.  When #1 was 3, he had a secondary reaction to the skin test.  He got hives and swelling on his face JUST FROM A DOT of peanut protein.  The doctor when running for benedryl and epi.  It was scary....he did not need the epi this time.  So the allergist does a RAST test.
A RAST test (short for radioallergosorbent test) is a blood test used to determine to what substances a person is allerergic.  Basically, they see  what the BLOOD will react to.  It is safer for someone who is allergic as he is.  The bad news was that each year, his peanut allergy became worse.  There are 6 categories on peanut allergy.  He is now over 100, which is a class 6.  Worst case scenario.  The good news was that he outgrew his allergy to cashews!!!!  He had outgtown the cashew nut by age 3.  We gave him almonds all the time.  I was able to find a big container of Sunkist almonds at Sams club that were manufactured without peanuts around.  (yay sunkist).  Throughout #1's life, we frequently went places without his epi pen.  We would go to the mall, out to eat, the baseball, hiking, etc.  I always left one in the van.  The scary part of that is, heat and cold can make the medicine ineffective.  I guess I never thought it would happen to us unless he actually ATE a nut.  And since I am over anal about what he eats, I figured we were safe. 
Lets fast forward to Sept 2011.  I had seen a brand of nuts, Wonderful Pistachios, at Target.  I called the company and spoke to a pleasant woman on the phone about their manufacturing facilities.  All they processed there were pistachios and almonds.  YAY.  So on Sunday, after church, #1 and I went to Target and I bought the pistachios.  He came home and I made him a lunch and gave him the pistachios.  Within seconds, he was up saying his throat itched.  My husband and I told him he was exaggerating.  I thought maybe a shell was in his throat.  I gave him some water but it didnt get better.  I gave him a banana.  By now I noticed he was acting VERY FRANTIC.  His lips were starting to swell.  I got the benedryl and gave him 2 teaspoons and called 911.  While talking to the operator, he was running in circles and clawing at himself.  He is a calm boy so this was totally out of character.  He was getting hives on his face and he was unable to speak.  I gave more benedryl and was screaming at 911 about what to do.  They asked if he was breathing and I said YES.  They said to hold off on the epi.  THIS WAS THE WRONG ADVICE.  Once his throat closes, it cannot be re opened.  In the state we live in, EMTs cannot do a treach.  Within minutes, a local EMT and the ambulance arrived and took him to the hospital.  To watch your child dying right before your eyes is something that I wish upon NO ONE.  I think of this every single minute or every single day.  We never leave home without the epi.  Not even to go to the pool or to the park.  Sometimes I bring 2. 
We found out that he DID NOT outgrow the tree nut allergy.  Pistachios are in the same family as cashews (surprise, surprise)  His blood didnt react because of strict avoidance.  Sometimes you may think you have outgrown when in fact you have not.  This was the case with #1. 
Everytime I put my boy on the bus, I wonder if this will be the last time I see him.  Do you know what that is like?  Can you imagine how I feel?  Apparently, I have a "reputation" at the school for being anal about my son.  Well maybe they need to walk a block in my shoes.  My son has woken up VOMITING in his sleep due to a delayed reaction.  This is a scary, God awful thing to deal with.  I know it can be much worse.  I know he could have cancer.  I know he could have more allergies.  I know he could be autistic.  I am just trying to shed some light on how we have to live.  Enough for now......