jealousy

So i read an article about jealousy the other day which I found rather interesting.  Jealousy is an emotion that most people will not admit to.  People have no problem stating that they are happy, sad, frustrated, annoyed, upset.  But very few people will actually cop to being jealous.  I frequently find myself writing on Facebook "I am so jealous!"  Sometimes I delete is before I post because I know it sounds obnoxious. I have always been a rather jealous person.  In more ways than one.  Definitely the jealous/overprotective/psycho girlfriend.  It is a good thing that cell phones werent around when I was dating. I would have been rifling through my boyfriends cell and accusing him of cheating.....and then to find out he was calling his grandma.  But as I have aged, I found I am better equipped to handle my jealousy.  Sometimes I am jealous of others accomplishments: someone ran a marathon, is very crafty and can decorate their house beautifully, has a successful home business, had a new baby, is super organized (we all know someone like that)


Sometimes I can turn the jealousy into a positive thing.  I was slightly jealous...ok rather jealous that a bunch of friends have been running half marathons.  So I have decided to train for one.  Or if someone did something charitable and I had wished I had been clever enough to think of that, I do something charitable.  I am insanely jealous when someone has a new baby but I am pretty sure the Sue Oven has been shut down for renovations so I just need to tell myself that I dont need a baby crying all night since I love my sleep.


Then there are the things I cannot control.  I will never be neat and tidy.  I will always agonize over that and glare at my neighbor who has everything perfect and tidy.  I wish I could be like that.  I can be happy for her and steal an idea or 2 but that is as far as I can go.  And the people that I am insanely jealous of- you know the type- perfect in each and every way?  Perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect house...........I blacklist them.  I guess it is my coping mechanism. If you have been blacklisted, now you know why.  I am insanely, over the edge jealous of you.  Or you are a democrat.  (lol)  


I think it is ok to wish you were like someone else.  But deep down, I like who I am, rather I like who I have become.  What you see here didnt happen over night people.  I am a total work in progress.  It is a good thing that I have calmed down over the years....  enough about me....more about kids or peanuts tomorrow.

I am also jealous of my neighbors.  I just went to get the mail and my mailbox and bird shit ALL OVER it.  Everyone else has a clean one.  grrrrrrr